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Feb. 24th, 2006 | 03:19 pm
mood: Well, isn't that cute? Dx Well, isn't that cute? Dx
music: Raven ~ Do as Infinity


My head's gunna implode. oO I have a HUGE ASS'D HEADACHE. And you can only sleep so much... Dx


I miss Sara-chan. ;_; Her computer died, so I havn't been able to talk to her. She called me last week, but SOMEONE -CoughMomcough- kicked me off the phone. D< So yeah.

Bwhaha. Rachie, I'm SO lazy. I've barley started ANY of my costumes, and I need my Yumi costume for March and my Marluxia, too. ROFLCOPTER. I've vut the material for Yumi and stuff, but I havn't even bought my Marluxia material. x___x I might not be able to go, due to my DIPSHIT MOTHER. D<

In other news, (Bwhah. Stole from Chris. <3) I broke mah DDR mat. D< I've been playing with a controler. IT'S HARD.

Ooh, and Kingdom Hearts Two comes out March 30! YAYAYAY! CANNOT WAIT. Me, Nikki and Rachie are getting together on the weekend it comes out and PLAYPLAYPLAYAAAAAAAAAAAYYY IT! Freaks? NEVEEEERRR.

So, yeah. What else?

Ooh. I swear, everyone's dying. First, my Uncle Chris has a stroke/heart attack, gets put in the hospital. (He's okay now, though.) Then one of my dad's students commits suicide. Then my Uncle Tony's brother dies. (It was expected; he's been really sick for awhile now.) And, my poor friend Shaun is expected to die soon. He's only 12, (Maybe 13? oO) but has serious liver problems. ARGH. If we were the same blood type, I'd donate. Dx But nooo-oooooo.

Gaahh. And later tonight, my 'lovely' cousins are coming over. Translation: "MEAGHAN GO WATCH YOUR COUSINS." -Four cousins run around house, tangling my wigs, messing up my room, screwing up my video game files, eating my candy- RAWWWRRR. AND I'M SICK. GAAAHH.

Meh, overall, this week's been horrid, but I'm in pretty good spirits. ^_^; Anyways, that's enoug ranting for you guys, ne?


P.S. WANNA KNOW WHAT SOME DIPSHIT ON FANFICTION.NET ACCUSED ME OF? APPARANTLY, I STOLE HER STORY. BWHAHAA. First of all, her writing is like this: 'one day i went to the store.there i met a boi named john.' etc. The only thing our story had in common was is was
a) Of the Soul Calibur genre
b) Was a TalimxYun-seoung fic
c) Happened to be Talim's sixteenth birthday.
PSSHHH. APPARANTLY, SHE INVENTED TALIMXYUN-SEOUNG. AHAHA. What, Japanese people don't write fanfictions? Bollocks.

Updat'd, yo! <3

Feb. 14th, 2006 | 01:57 am

Fwweeee! I JUST WATCHED THE FRIGGIN' BEST PARODY VIDEO. EVER. It's Final Fantasy VII, Advent Children. Here's part of it: (Insert Pokemon music here) Yuffie: What the BEEEEEEEP?! Is that Pokemon background music?! 'Prepare for nipples, and make it triple! To provide the main characters with fustration, to be the hottest within our nation, to find our mother, where she is, we don't noes! even if this involves slapping some hoes. (Insert fight scene with Tifa here) Tadagh Yazoo Laux Silver haired men blats off at the speed of light! Oh hell yeah! That's damn right.' BWHAHAHA. AWESOME. <3 So, yeah. Not much to say. So... xD Bye. xDDDD Oh. And, no, I didn't go to the JPop dance, stop asking. D


Feb. 9th, 2006 | 08:45 pm
mood: Must....sleeeeeep. Must....sleeeeeep.
music: Dearly Beloved ~ Kingdom Hearts Two

Rawwwr. I'm so. Damn. Tired.

How shall I explain it all? Meep!

School's....okay. New semester. English is easy, obviously. I gots a buncha my friends in that class, I'm good. 'Cept I called Andrew T 'Austin' by accident, and he went on a spazz 'cause everyon has been calling him that. xD Science is....boring. My teacher is the most stereotypical thing ever! Beady eyes, beak nose, balding head and droning voice. Let's make it bussing voice, then we'll have the four B's. xD I have friends in there, too. 'Specially Mr.Pink, a.k.a. Jacob. He randomly came up to me the first day and went spazzy, (OH EM GEE! EMO GIRL!) and now we're friends. Odd little child. xD

Then there's gym. WORST. CLASS. EVEEEERRR. I've never, ever, ever had a problem with gym. Ever. I love gym, health is a little annoying, but still. I love sport, except basketball. xD But, still. This is TOOORRRTUUUREE. Twenty five laps per day. IT'S HORRID. It wouldn't even be that bad if the teacher gave us a breather every five laps or so, but nooo-oooo. it's ironic, thats the worst class, yes the best. All my female friends are in it. Yay! Well, almost all them. xD Oh, and the best part? A GIANT CHIPMUNK IS PAINTED ON THE WALL OF THE GIRLS CANGEROOM. <333 You shoulda seen me spazz. x'3

Then Buisness. It's....odd. We're learning to type... oO; ANYWAYS.

Owie. My legs HURT LIKE HELL. 25 laps+Gymnastics+Walking to other side of city for sushi+Period = PAIN.

Onward to other stuffs.

Harvest Moon! Yay! I'm finally getting married to Cliff. -Shakes fist at needed four random events- I'm gunna concentrate on getting everyone else married. oO Dunno why. Yeahh...

I made cake-cupcake-cookie things today. oO They are TOO chocolaty....make me wanna puke. Dx Too rich? Yeah. Anyways. I'll just give them to my friends... -Slips rat poison into Shaun's cupcake thing- >'3

Raawwwr. I have sooo many costumes to make. And fanfics to write. I'm totally jumping around here. Dx

I feel stressed out for no reason. oO; It's odd. Hrmph. Must be...school? Dx Makes no sence!

That random person who commented on my last post is right, (I have no clue who he is, maybe one of Troy or Chris' friends?) I'm a total retard, I don't deserve someone as great as Chris. I don't even totally understand why Chris bothers with me. I know I love Jason, I'm not going to budge from that. Buuut, I'm way to happy with Chris. I love him more. Jason's turned into...well, more like a big brother figure, the one you always had a crush on, but could never get? To be honest, I'm really happy Jason has a new girlfriend. And, I didn't rip off his picture-thing. Ha! As Anthony would say, 'ANGST ANGST ANGST!'.

Okay, uhmn, yeah. I'll go now. I'm horribly bored, and must write PreTear fanfiction.

Love. <3

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Feb. 2nd, 2006 | 08:01 pm
mood: [Insert emoness here] [Insert emoness here]
music: White Something.or.other - PreTear

Gah, I'm sorry for not updating in a long time. Had exams and went through some shit.

I'll just rant about today, then next entry I'll do the last week or so.

Guess what? Jason has a new girlfriend.

As soon as I saw the red heart and her name, (Jacqie, I think) I almost cried.

I don't know whats wrong with me. I have Chris, and I should be happy, but deep down, I'm not. I'm just fooling myself, I know I still love Jason. Don't get me wrong, I love Chris, too. I just have problems deciding who I love more.

It's funny, how I even could think I love Jason as much as Chris after everything Jason's put me through againt Chris who's practically a Saint. For fuck's sake, I just don't know.

I dunno what I don't have that Jason needs, and I don't care anymore. I wanna cut him off from me, but that would hurt more then listening to him talk about his new girlfriend, or even watching them suck face.

Just a day ago, I put back up a picture of me and Jason hugging on my wall. It's one of those photobooth things in the malls and movie theatres, where you choose the artist then style and stuff. I had it up when we were dating, then took it down when we broke up, then had it up again when everything was fine. Then it started hurting again, and I put it in a little pencil case along with other things like 'The Duckie necklace' and the 'Jay necklace', anything that makes me hurt, I hide in there and stuff it in the back of my drawer. yesterday I put it back up, right beside Yami and Kimmy's pictures I got from Sara. (Of a Generic Anime Fangirl and Riku. x3) They're placed so everyday when I wake up, I see them. Y'know, to remind me of my friends. Now, I'm going to rip it off the wall. Instead of placing it carefully into the pencilcase, I'm going to chuck it into the toilet.

I thought everything was fine between me and Jason, it's not. I still love him. How much, I don't know, but I do. It hurts, and I know I have to let him go, but it's not that easy.

Meh, I'm done my rant.

Oh, no I'm not! Jasons FINALLY talking to me on MSN. Meh, he's just being himself, clueless. I hafta go now, anyways, and tell Sara-chan everything that happened.

.......How come everyone I really care about who returns my feelings livs so fucking far away? I do believe I'm starting to slip back into depression....

xoxxoxoxox </3


Jan. 13th, 2006 | 04:59 pm
mood: Hurray for me! Hurray for me!
music: Some PoT song of Eiji and Fuji singing - Prince of Tennis

Awrriiiight! It’s Friday the 13th. Oooh. =D

I FUCKING WHOOPED MY GEOGRAPHY PROJECT. It was a slide-show presentation. I guess it was half because my superior put-a-project-together-in-four-days power and being able to actually colour match helped. People would have backgrounds that were to small, (stretching them, making them very pixilated) while I got the right size. They had a blue background, they used bright purple font. I used font to match the wiiittle tree in the corner. Common sense. Then instead of reading off the slides, I made jot notes and talked about extra information. Eaassy. Everyone even said I was the best. <3

Anyways, lookit this convo me and Chris <3 had on MSN last night.

Chris: Be right back, hafta pee.
Mea: Oh, thanks for the visual. =P
Chris: Ahaha, Adam said the same thing.
Mea: Oh, but I ment it! <3
Chris: ….O_O
Mea: -Laughs head off-
Chris: -Picks up head- MINE!

Ahaha, seriously, I’m slow. XD

I noticed recently my mind wanders around a lot. Like this:
I was in bed, thinking about my project.
Then I thought about part my group member wasn’t done, about a company.
Then I wondered if small company’s owners are rich.
Then I thought about Disney Land. ‘Oh, I bet the family of Walt Disney are fucking rolling in thousands of dollars’.
Then I thought about Wonderland.
Then I thought about Jason and me in Wonderland.
Then I thought about Anime Cons
Then about if I’ll finish my costumes.
And it went on and on and on.

Now I’m going to do random quizzes.

Your Birthdate: May 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech.
In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek.
It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with.
Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots!

Your strength: Your unfailing logic

Your weakness: Loving machines more than people

Your power color: Tan

Your power symbol: Pi

Your power month: July

Me likey the ‘take over world with giant robots’. However….me?! SMART!? WITH COMPUTERS!? AHAHAHAA!

Your IQ Is 85

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Average

Your General Knowledge is Below Average

I can think logically! D< Oh, yeah, I’m literate, biatch. I suck at math…whoa. O_O
Fuck. ;_;

You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance.

Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer.

Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.

I’m not a whore, though. ;_; Meh, fine, I am. v_v But only to Chrissss. ;D
I am friendly. =D I s’pose.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

Sadly, it’s like, all true. ^^;;
‘easily excited by many things.’ Tell me about it. =D
‘You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.’ I already have the best love. <3
‘You posses a sharp and keen intellect.’ Oooookay there.
‘and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.’ O RLY? Wowie. O.O
‘Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.’ Teehee, true. ^^;;
‘A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.’ NOW THAT PART ISN’T TRUE. D<

Gah, I guess that’s allll. <3333 I hafta work on some stuffies.

Love! <3


Jan. 12th, 2006 | 06:38 pm
mood: YAYAY!!11!!11SHIFTONE!11 YAYAY!!11!!11SHIFTONE!11


Everything is happy, everything is calm, everything is semi-complete.

Why the good mood? Weeeeell now.

Chris' exams were done today, so I finally gawt to talk to him. He was all maddish and sad an' all that bad stuffies, but he's fine now, and we're as happy as we ever were before, if not more. <333

Troy, at least he said, is feeling better. Yay!

And I'm DONE my project! All I need to do is citations and some que cards. Eaasssy stuff. Citations are due Monday, and que cards I can do in ten minutes flat. Brian saved my fecking ass today. Seriously. My project wouldn't save, and he came and made everything all better. YAY FOR COMPUTER GEEKS!

Anywaaayys. I was bored, -GlaredamnyouChrisforwatchingvideosglare- soooooo I'm going to do all these quiz thingers. YAY!

andomCollapse )

Awww, SO true. ^_~ I love things like thaaat! Kyaaaa. So does Chris, according to the quiz. =D

Well, I hafta go now, Matt needsta do his homeowork. I’ll post more quizzes tomorrow, luffies.



Jan. 12th, 2006 | 06:20 pm
mood: YAYAY!!11!!11SHIFTONE!11 YAYAY!!11!!11SHIFTONE!11


Everything is happy, everything is calm, everything is semi-complete.

Why the good mood? Weeeeell now.

Chris' exams were done today, so I finally gawt to talk to him. He was all maddish and sad an' all that bad stuffies, but he's fine now, and we're as happy as we ever were before, if not more. <333

Troy, at least he said, is feeling better. Yay!

And I'm DONE my project! All I need to do is citations and some que cards. Eaasssy stuff. Citations are due Monday, and que cards I can do in ten minutes flat. Brian saved my fecking ass today. Seriously. My project wouldn't save, and he came and made everything all better. YAY FOR COMPUTER GEEKS!

Anywaaayys. I was bored, -GlaredamnyouChrisforwatchingvideosglare- soooooo I'm going to do all these quiz thingers. YAY!

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Chris is your soulmate.
You truly love Shaun.
You consider Sara your true friend.
You know that Rachie is always thinking of you.
You'll remember Andrew for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Crystal is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Brian is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Jason is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Jason changes lovers faster than underwear. (Mea added: HAH! JASON? LOVE LIFE! HA!)
You secretly think Nikki is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Nikki has a hidden internet romance.

Teehee, so true. Minus the hidden internet romance for Nikki-chan, and Jason's 'Love life'.

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

Teehee, so me! =D

Now, I hafta go. I'll put on more quizezzszszezz tomorrow!

<3 Much love.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.

Jan. 9th, 2006 | 08:50 pm
mood: nervous nervous
music: Passion ~ Utada Hikaru

Alright. Here it goes.


Anyways. I should be doing my homework. I'll start after I'm done writing this.

Why does my life suck? 'CAUSE I'M A FUCKING PUSSY.

I can't do this anymore. I want to curl up into a corner and die, just, sleep for the rest of my life. I am the WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.

Yesterday, Sunday, Troy-chan visited. Long story short, I did stuff I regret. Alot. It's like...being with Jay all over again. Some of you know what I mean. I love Troy, I really do. I also love Chris. And, from what I can tell, a hell of alot more then Troy.

I'm sorry, really. I'm to much of a wuss to say this to Troy's face, so I have to hide behind LiveJournal. I couldn't even do it on MSN, or the phone. I guess the pressure of school, Troy, Troy's LiveJournal entries, Jesse, Jason, Chris, everything-it's getting to me.

So fuck it. I'm leaving everything as it was. I'm through.


I'll concentrate on school more.

I'll talk to Troy.

I'll talk to Chris, after his exams are done. (In two days)

I've decided. I choose Chris. When I was with Troy, everytime he touched me, all that was running through my mind was 'Oh my god, I'm doing this, I'm with someone else other then Chris. I'm Chris'! I love Chris! What am I doing? How can I be doing this to Chris? I'M HORRIBLE!' I almost started to cry.

I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm a selfish, lazy, unconcerned BITCH. I seriously hate myself. I don't deserve any of you, Sara, Suzana, Troy, Dave, Jason and especially Chris. I'm so afraid. That I'll hurt him.

If you know me well, you know I put my friends first. Before anything.

I'm sorry Troy. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I completly understand if you hate me from now on end. I deserve it. I love you, I really do. I just...love Chris more. Your right-it is unfulfilling. And it might not work out. But I have confidence in Chris, and me. And our relationship. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Flame all you want. I deserve it.

Well, really, I deserve worse.

I wish boys has cooties again.

Jan. 3rd, 2006 | 12:16 am
mood: -Insert gonk face here- -Insert gonk face here-
music: Random songs ~ Tony Hawks American Wasteland

Well, I'm here, tired, stressed, happy and quite nervous.

Why tired? It's 12:17am, and I've stayed up till around four the last two nights.

Stressed? I hafta work on my Geography, French and Art project still.

Happy? 'Cause Sara's awesome. And so's Troy. They make me happy. <3 I'll go into that later.

Nervous? 'Cause if I hurt Chris or Troy, I just know I'll slip back into depression, and possibly drag them with me.

Alright, I'll tell ya all about it. You make a rude comment, I'll skin you. >_< Well, actually, Sara will. But you get the hint. xD

Alright. So...as you may or may not know, I've been dating my best friend, Chris. It's been two months and a week aboutish. I doubt anyone could comprehend how much this boy means to me. He's always been there for me, for the four years we've known each other. He's funny, kind, sweet, caring- I love him dearly. But how do I love him? I don't know. I thought I loved him with all my heart-untill today. No, no, no, he didn't do anything. Nawt at all! Yet again, I'll explain later. </3

Now, I've recently begun feeling things for a guy I met at CNAnime 2oo5, Troy. He's awesome-poetic, sweet, caring, and Cosplayed Kurogane, my number one Bishie. x3 Anyways, I had always suspected he liked me, even looong ago when I was still with Jason. (Say, about, four months ago?) Which, from what I can tell, was correct. <3

Now, I started stressing, worried that my new feelings for Troy would get inbetween me and Chris. I eventually spilled the beans to Chris. He told me that he'd be there for me, no matter what, and even if I left him, he'd accept me back if thats what I wanted. Honestly, this guy is too sweet. I'm worried he's just gunna hand over his wallet to some thief or something. -Insert HUGE gonk here-

Now I'm really, really, really worried. I don't know what to do. One moment I'll be all 'Yeah, I'll tell Chris that I'd rather be with Troy- I love them both but I can at least see him', then next 'Oh, screw this, I don't want to hurt anyone, I'll stay with Chris', then 'Gah, I love Troy and Chris...but Troy's closer...' then 'I can't hurt Chris- I'll stay with him.' ....Yeah. I really don't know what to do... (For any of those who don't know, Chris lives across the ocean from me. ;_; I know it sounds selfish to want a guy you can see, unless you understand how much it hurts not to be able to hug the person you love.)

I don't know...I get all confident, then I picture the negative for each side. I picture me telling Chris that it's over, and I start to hurt alot inside. I really do care about him, although I don't know how. I just couldn't get the nerve to tell him. Then, if I stay with Chris, I can picture Troy upset, and all alone again. I can't take either side of it. >_< Sometimes I just try to ignore it, and do my thing with both of them. But that would be cheating, wouldn't it? I don't want to be a whore! D< Not to mention Chris told me he trusts me entirely. I can't break that kind of bond between us by cheating on him! I'd never do that. <_<

Why am I happy? Well, Sara-chan was being my big sister again. <3 I also went around reading Troy's old LiveJournal posts. He's so poetic. O.O He wrote this poem about him and I'm guessing his Ex kissing in the middle of a thunderstorm. It was so emotional. It made me happy that he can express himself so well, and have the guts to do it. It made me sad, 'cause from the way he wrote the poem you could tell he cared deeply for whoever the girl was. Well, I guess thats a good thing. ^_^;; Maybe I'm jealous? Probably. ^o^;;

Gah, it's 4:17am, and I'm tired. I think I'll sleep now... (I was distracted by PS2, Viv, Avi Comics and Chatting xD)

All I can say is that life was so much easier when boys had cooties.


Bored out of my MIND.

Jan. 2nd, 2006 | 01:33 am
mood: Kyaaah! Kyaaah!
music: My little brother snoring. <_<

<Loooong post, click here, JL cut.Collapse )